I once went to lunch with a dear friend of mine at Union during sophomore year. We were talking about how we hold so tightly onto OUR plans and ideas of how life should go. She told me an example that has stayed with me many years. She said "Kate, hold your fist out. Inside your fist you are holding desperately onto your idea of how your summer job will turn out. But Kate, God wants to hold your hand. He wants to take your plans and keep them in his while holding your hand. Kate, wouldn't it be better for God to hold your hand and your plans and you are secure in it all?" She then told me to open my hand. She asked me if I felt safe if what plans I have in my grasp are taken from God and are replaced would I be willing to trust God. I remember thinking, "how on earth will I be okay with that".
I'm happy to say 2 years later, I use that example to help remind me to trust God and He always proves himself faithful.
I have been grasping to a plan for after college like my life depended on it. And yesterday was the epitome of my inability to hold on any longer. I realized I had been grasping it tighter than I ever should have. And I cried. I cried to friends, family. And eventually I cried to God. I told him that if it means this isn't it, I'm ready for him to take it out of my hand and give me better plans. And I sat out on my porch last night listening to music. I notice a wood carpenter bee continually fight the porch light next door to keep warm. However, in its efforts, in its striving, He is being burned, harmed, and damaged. I then realized again that I have been that bee. Trying to keep comforted by my idea of life even if it harms me in doing so. And I again said to God if its time for him to take it, I will be better off.
Long story short, God is faithful. I got an email this morning that I have been worrying, stressing, striving for. God let me have my dream, my idea. BUT only after I realized my actions and realized that He is King, I am and servant and this life is his to direct. It takes being willing to take on a life that you don't plan, giving it all up, for him to let you have a hearts desire.
Thank you, Lord. And I a desperately sorry. You humble me constantly. And thank you for not letting me get harmed more so from my own choices. You are faithful. You are constant. You are King and You own this body and life.
Thank you for the grace to realize it yet again.
I'm happy to say 2 years later, I use that example to help remind me to trust God and He always proves himself faithful.
I have been grasping to a plan for after college like my life depended on it. And yesterday was the epitome of my inability to hold on any longer. I realized I had been grasping it tighter than I ever should have. And I cried. I cried to friends, family. And eventually I cried to God. I told him that if it means this isn't it, I'm ready for him to take it out of my hand and give me better plans. And I sat out on my porch last night listening to music. I notice a wood carpenter bee continually fight the porch light next door to keep warm. However, in its efforts, in its striving, He is being burned, harmed, and damaged. I then realized again that I have been that bee. Trying to keep comforted by my idea of life even if it harms me in doing so. And I again said to God if its time for him to take it, I will be better off.
Long story short, God is faithful. I got an email this morning that I have been worrying, stressing, striving for. God let me have my dream, my idea. BUT only after I realized my actions and realized that He is King, I am and servant and this life is his to direct. It takes being willing to take on a life that you don't plan, giving it all up, for him to let you have a hearts desire.
Thank you, Lord. And I a desperately sorry. You humble me constantly. And thank you for not letting me get harmed more so from my own choices. You are faithful. You are constant. You are King and You own this body and life.
Thank you for the grace to realize it yet again.
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