So there is this song out on Christian air-waves, I don't know the title. But the Lyrics go something like: Lord, You must think I am stronger than I am for having me go through what I am going through. And I am giving up. You have to be strong enough for both of us!
This is how I have felt this week. God seems to have this plan for me that I don't think that I am strong enough for, but apparently he thinks I am ready for it. It started like this:
1. Going to Union, not knowing anyone, being lonely for quite a while
2. Working at Skyview, lonely for quite a while
3. Moving to Florence, Italy, not knowing anyone, surrounded by non Christians, lonely for quite a while
4. Moving back to Union, everyone changed, so did I. Lonely for quite a while.
5. Moving to Michigan, currently lonely.
God seems to have this pattern that I am slowly catching on to. And I think there is a reason. When I am in these transition times, lonely time, I cling to God more than any other time. I am in the Word. I am soaking up sermons left and right. I am looking for God and finding him. It is when I become comfortable, when God leads me to friends, leads me to relationship besides him, thats when I stray. Its kind of like, Hello Kate! If you stay with me through the lonely AND not lonely times, I might still send you the lonely times, but the lonely times wouldn't feel so lonely. You know what I mean. This might not be what God is thinking, but sure seems like it to me.
My Internship with Women at Risk is fine. I am learning a lot about research, myself, grants, etc.But I do it all alone. I don't have people to talk with. I don't have anyone to eat lunch with. I don't spend time with anyone after work, before work, during work. Its quite isolated. So again, I am clinging to Christ. That is the only way I made it through this week, and I am sure weeks to come.
I do love the family I am with. They are great! They give me space, they chat some with me. No pressure to be uber clean, or quite, or whatever. So thats nice, but at the same time. I also feel alone in a house full of people. So here is to hoping the next week isn't quite as lonely.
< Dublin, Ireland in October 2009
This is how I have felt this week. God seems to have this plan for me that I don't think that I am strong enough for, but apparently he thinks I am ready for it. It started like this:
1. Going to Union, not knowing anyone, being lonely for quite a while
2. Working at Skyview, lonely for quite a while
3. Moving to Florence, Italy, not knowing anyone, surrounded by non Christians, lonely for quite a while
4. Moving back to Union, everyone changed, so did I. Lonely for quite a while.
5. Moving to Michigan, currently lonely.
God seems to have this pattern that I am slowly catching on to. And I think there is a reason. When I am in these transition times, lonely time, I cling to God more than any other time. I am in the Word. I am soaking up sermons left and right. I am looking for God and finding him. It is when I become comfortable, when God leads me to friends, leads me to relationship besides him, thats when I stray. Its kind of like, Hello Kate! If you stay with me through the lonely AND not lonely times, I might still send you the lonely times, but the lonely times wouldn't feel so lonely. You know what I mean. This might not be what God is thinking, but sure seems like it to me.
My Internship with Women at Risk is fine. I am learning a lot about research, myself, grants, etc.But I do it all alone. I don't have people to talk with. I don't have anyone to eat lunch with. I don't spend time with anyone after work, before work, during work. Its quite isolated. So again, I am clinging to Christ. That is the only way I made it through this week, and I am sure weeks to come.
I do love the family I am with. They are great! They give me space, they chat some with me. No pressure to be uber clean, or quite, or whatever. So thats nice, but at the same time. I also feel alone in a house full of people. So here is to hoping the next week isn't quite as lonely.
< Dublin, Ireland in October 2009
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