Day by day

So recently I have thought a lot about what I want to do with my life and where I think God is leading me. I have for the last 4 years thought that I would go to Africa or India and serve and try to help save peoples lives from curable diseases. But since I have been in Italy I have been feeling less and less at peace with that future. 

As of right now I am not changing my major from nursing, but I feel as if there is something else I should be doing. I don't want to leave Union and the people I love there, but God is doing something in me and I have fears of what that might be. 

Don't get me wrong, I fear the Lord in that I know he has the master plan and that I am His to direct but that can be very scary when you surrender your life to Him. 

Since being in Italy and being around so many people that I don't have similar beliefs, my thoughts have been filled with new ideas and thoughts of where God might be leading me. 

I want to serve. I don't want to live a life that only satisfies me. I don't believe that I have been called to live in one area for a long period of time and I also think that God has created me to be good at facing difficulties. It might be painful but I always make it through with His guidance. 

So I don't really know what I am going to do next, but I have a feeling it will not be at all what I was planning. And I think that was God's plan all along. That I would never know. That I would change. That I would do something unexpected. And I am starting to see this semester as a time where God might have taken me away so that He can put His plan in play and not mine. (not that my plan truly is ever in action)but that drastic changes might be "a brewing" 

And here is where my thoughts have escaped me and I don't know what else to write, other than that I put my hope in Christ and His plan, even if that changes everything I had planned. 

-- anxious. kate.